Russ The Webmaster

Well I’ve put up my solar cam, it will be tracking the sun for the next six months. Can’t wait to see the pictures

Tags: camera, solar

Where do I begin! Why do women like shopping so much just been to murderhall and it’s packed. You can tell all the blokes would rather be somewhere else… But the ladies just keep dragging them round like children and when you show no interest in their new dress they want to buy, they throw wobbler

Tags: hell, shopping

Well should be easier to keep up to date now I’ve got my new iPhone. I must admit I didn’t know how good these little bags of tricks are…. So here is to more posts!

Russ
www.lomography.com/homes/copefan

Tags: iphone

I am now as old as the speed of a 7″ single…… it does feel a little strange!

Why do people order products from the internet which say please allow 21 days for delivery…… Then phone up and say could we have it in 5 days time as it’s for a birthday present….. No you flippin’ can’t knob puller!

It says 21 days for a reason……. If you want it in 5 days time you should have ordered it 16 days ago!

Or they phone after a week having a go because its not arrived yet, because they are too stupid to read the order details……. PLEASE ALLOW 21 DAYS FOR DELIVERY

Mind I don’t really want this to sound wrong but they are nearly all women, who by rights do have a lot on their mind…… like more shopping, washing, ironing and getting our dinners ready!

ENOUGH SAID!

Well everyone knows the world is in a bad way! The Credit Crunch! Global Warming! But help is on its way…… I’ve just seen an ad on tv for the Tractors & The World Of Farming Magazine!!!

The world is saved…… Mind who’s gonna buy it…. I thought farmers were skint! If anyone can tell me who would buy this crap please let me know as i’ll send the lads round to sort them out and teach them about Scientology now i’m not sure which is worst……. OK gimmie the tractors……… brummmm brummmmm

Below is the classic 80’s song Mad World by Tears For Fears

I’ve added a new section on Lomography….. Lomography is an art form or just a way of life! You can visit their website at www.lomography.com. I think it starts off as a bit of fun and then becomes part of you, film is like that, it has more life than digital which is throw away photography….. Take a look, buy a camera and start using film…….. Russ

Why is coffee so hard to get right!

Forget about instant coffee, that’s for people who have no sense of taste!

I mean the real stuff! My main complaint is the stuff that petrol stations and service stations sell. Mind forget the ones with High St coffee shops in they are not that bad!

I went in to a Total Petrol Station the other day and they had one of these new Italian Style Coffee Machines just being installed and so the next day I went in! It had all the new point of sale stuff saying ‘Real Italian Coffee’ and ‘The best tasting coffee in the World’ ………. do you think i’d have a case for false advertising as it tasted just as bad as the other crap they used to sell.

Infact it tasted the same as i’d had in the Shell Garage the week before! So I did a small test and went round a few different garages and bought coffee and it all tasted the same…… Like Dog Piss! its never been coffee! They must all buy the same coffee but just call it something different. Also they now have really fancy machines, but they don’t help they just mean they can charge you more!

At the beginning of the piece I said that instant coffee was for people who had no sense of taste….. forget that at least its better than the muck they serve at garages and service stations……..

I just can’t understand why coffee so difficult!

This is a transcript of a set of e-mails recieved by myself from a member of the great british public!

From: A Member Of The Public!
Sent: 28 March 2008 14:36
To: Me
Subject: product developement

Product developement Department

As an angler who fishes all year round there has been times during the wet winter months when i have felt the need to use a product which would make the transfer from the wet muddy river/lake side to my car a whole lot more comfortable.
On browsing through your website i found a product which comes close to doing the job, however i feel it might not quite be up to the task i have in mind. I have to say i have not tested your product, however, I think a completely new formular would be needed, but i am sure your company is quite capable of this task.
What i know is that with advertising in the right sector ( magazines ) the sales could easily rocket as i know this would be an essential piece of kit to have in the car. There are 3 million anglers in the uk alone, and i feel sure that other sports people and even estate agents would find this product a must.
I have thought of a very catchy name for this product too which would save your advertising staff months of mental stress !!
I sincerely hope i have given you enough information to tempt you into discussing this with me whereby we could sign a confidentiality agreement and create a financial package for my idea in order to assist my pension! I look forward to hearing from you soon.

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From: Me
To: A Member Of The Public!
Subject: RE: product developement
Date: Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:16:05 +0000

Why would we be interested?
We don’t have an R&D department

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From: A Member Of The Public!
Sent: 28 March 2008 19:28
To: Me
Subject: RE: product developement

I can’t quite make up my mind whether you are being sarcastic or totally naive. I thought i had made myself perfectly clear in my email by saying that i have come up with a what i think is a fantastic idea of a product which i would like your company to develope. However by the tone of your response then maybe i should take this idea elsewhere where the staff might just show some enthusiasm and courtesy. Your loss pal not mine.

——————————————————————————–

From: Me
To: A Member Of The Public!
Subject: RE: product developement
Date: Fri, 28 Mar 2008 20:10:36 +0000

I’m sorry we are a retail store chain, why would we be interested.
If you let us have more information we can put you in contact with the right people who might be able to help you.

——————————————————————————–

From: A Member Of The Public!
Sent: 28 March 2008 22:21
To: Me
Subject: RE: product developement

ok so it seems we have crossed wires, but you know what, you really have an attitude problem, a little civility wouldn’t hurt

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From: Me
To: A Member Of The Public!
Subject: RE: product developement
Date: Fri, 28 Mar 2008 22:33:59 +0000

I think you need to calm down and give your ideas to the right people, I don’t think I have an attitude problem.

We would not fund a project or put you in contact with one of our partners, as we would hate for them to deal with a person who seems a little unbalanced…. I don’t mean that to sound bad but I can’t seem to find a problem with my replies?

——————————————————————————–

From: A Member Of The Public!
Sent: 29 March 2008 10:22
To: Me
Subject: RE: product developement

now listen carefully you muppet, you don’t know who you are dealing with here so so get back to the assylum and don’t haunt me again, understand ! End of

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From: Me
To: A Member Of The Public!
Subject: RE: product developement
Date: Sat, 29 Mar 2008 12:21:08 +0000

You are really quite mad………. but in a nice way!

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From: A Member Of The Public!
Sent: 29 March 2008 13:10
To: Me
Subject: RE: product developement

you have been warned, now get lost

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From: Me
To: A Member Of The Public!
Subject: RE: product developement
Date: Sat, 29 Mar 2008 13:14:16 +0000

You really should go to anger management classes

——————————————————————————–

From: A Member Of The Public!
Sent: 29 March 2008 13:25
To: Me
Subject: RE: product developement

do you get off by making these stupid, childish comments. Perhaps you should see a psychiatrist. I can only assume there is no woman in your sad life and i’m really beginning to feel sorry for you. However with regard to your insulting behaviour i will now seriously consider contacting your boss as you do appear to be representing your company. I shall now put a block on your emails so just give up and get a life

——————————————————————————–

From: Me
Sent: 29 March 2008 13:25
To: A Member Of The Public!
Subject: RE: product developement

I’m sure he would agree with you. As for insulting, I think you will find that’s wrong all I have given is advice or just an opinion on your state of mind!

It is your good self who has been getting yourself in a bit of a muddle, As for a sad life it is anything but! I don’t need you to feel sorry for me although you can if you like. I hope you find someone to help you with your product as it will look good in one of those ‘Betterware’ books that have loads of stuff in them nobody really wants, but people still buy!

I’ve forwarded this e-mail on to my boss to save you the trouble.

Thank you for comments and I hope we can help you in the future.

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Just been asked what zoo animal i’d be!

After a long period and two cups of coffee, I came up with my answer….

A Gorilla!

I was asked why…..

Well whenever you see them in their cage they are either picking their noses, humping their mates. Or best of all they can masterbate in public!

I wonder what they are thinking – Are they looking at all the fit babes walking past or is it the sight of loads of people peeling bananas……… or do they just like knocking one out!

I mean you try it in the park on Saturday! you wouldn’t even get halfway through it before the rozzers pounced on you!

Also

……. What a nice day for putting your privates in a posh girls face! …….